Route 66


Hi friends, I began this project to get back to blogging, perhaps writing humour shorts again for a magazine from yet a new adventure. I thought I could put this material with many of the stories about other trips I have taken and finish off a travel book.  Park on the Road, would be an appropriate name. I really had not taken a big adventure since my accident and I certainly had not written anything worthwhile so I thought perhaps it was time to get back on that horse.  What I learned is when  your horse dies… dismount and move on, by foot if necessary.

I discovered something I am sure most of you already know and that is what you find on an adventure has little to do with discovering new things about the places you go, the people you meet or the things you see but rather what you discover about  yourself.

What I discovered in the end is that this will be my last adventure and probably my last series of blogs.  As we travel through them I am sure  you will agree what I learned was of value and it is time to put this horse down.

For me this is a sad realization because I have not seen what is behind the other doors yet, but I am sure something exciting is waiting me.  Let me know if you enjoy any of the stories.

Thanks,  Layton

Wainwright – AB:

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A friend who doesn’t want to be made famous in my blog, so I will refer to him as the Orange Runner, as in Rum Runner (someone who runs across international boarders with contraband, to be explained in a later chapter) and I packed up the old motorhome and headed out from Edmonton.

The goal was to reach a ¼ Ton and LA by the end of October. That means adding 9,500 kilometers (6,000 miles) to the RV and losing 60 lbs. between us. The later seemed a pretty tall order so we changed it to ¼ tonne which means we only have to lose 10 lbs. between us a much more realistic goal.

We got away late in the afternoon so we only traveled about 200 km to Wainwright where my old friend Morley told us to stop by and he would throw a bar-b-q for us. Maybe the thought of losing any weight is unrealistic. As we pulled into Wainwright he called to say he was riding his Harley from Lloydminster so would we mind picking up the stake and meet him at his beautiful hide-a-way. Unsure of what he might have to go with it we picked up potatoes, sour cream, corn on the cob and some beer. We arrived at his beautiful log home and started preparing supper when another old friend Terry Sharpe showed up with a 114 foot long motorhome and slide outs that added five more rooms to his unit. He was soon followed by Morley riding in on his bug coated bright yellow Harley.

As Morley dismounted the bar-b-q ran out of propane and he said he would go get some however Terry had an extra tank in his motorhome and we continued with the potatoes and corn. Morley mixed up an incredible rub for the stakes and the meal got underway. Of course Terry had to go back to his motorhome and get some butter for the corn but Morley did have the salt and pepper so we were happy he had invited us.

Of course this is not typical of Morley’s hospitality I just enjoy pointing this out as his hospitality is usually as perfect, as the meal turned out in the end.

Morley’s sheds and garages provide home to an awesome collection of vehicles. The new shed included a: 1958 Apache truck, two 50 mercury’s, one a great hot rod, a 49 Mercury convertible, a 1932 International truck, A 1949 Hudson Wasp, A 38 Hudson rat rod, a1954 Buick, a 50 Ford one ton, and more, but I just didn’t remember them all.

The older shop had a 1928 Indian with a 1939 engine, a Indian bike and side car, and seven Harleys, one of each engine design… sorry photos did not turn out.

Morley’s Barns turned out be as good as a museum as one might find in most towns and more importantly is that each vehicle comes with it’s own unique story.

Day one was ;short but complete and we had a good nights rest and were ready to begin the journey.

There will be many more stories to this adventure… stay tuned.

8-2 The Last Chapter


funeralI need your help.
We are the generation that is going to live forever so I know none of us really want to discuss the final chapter. The sad truth is we are witnessing friends and family falling around us and at a deeper level we all know that our time is almost up as well.
So here is why I bring this up. I had to organize my Dad’s funeral fourteen years ago but I had my mother there to tell me what he would have wanted, but when my time is up there will be no one to help my kids and I don’t want to leave them guessing. God help me if Liam chooses the music.  I mean I’m sure it is great, it is just not what I want.
Yeah, I have a will that will break my estate down into small bills and distribute them, but what about my final rest resting place, the final service, what songs should be played and what will be for lunch.
I recently went to a service and the family forgot to put out triangular egg salad sandwiches with the crusts cut off. I know the deceased would have been disappointed because egg salad is a core requirement of a prairie send off. In fact some Saturdays I stop at funerals just to get one. The key is to pulling it off is just look sad and nod at other attendees.
I do want the songs, Amazing Grace, unless my buddy Duncan Brown plays the on his bag pipes. I do not want the Rock of Ages, I want the rock of ages. In fact, I want the entire celebration to rock. My second cousin had just discussed what songs she would want at her service and a few weeks later she suddenly passed at a young age. The organizers knew what songs she wanted to be played. I want that, my music, I am putting together a list, have you done so?  Where do you leave it so the kids don’t find it when they are cleaning out the place months after I’m gone?
Today the trend is for cremation in fact, I discussed with my former wife that I had to be cooked between 1400 and 1500 degrees, not because I do not want to put in a place hotter than hell. Crematoriums operate between 1400 and 1800 degrees but titanium melts at 1668 degrees. The problem with this was my wife wanted the kids to each get a bracelet made from one of my ribs, (all titanium) but I wanted them to be in the original shape complete with serial number then bent and trimmed to fit.
I am now reconsidering that. Once cremated there is no evidence that we ever existed, at best we are just dust in the wind. The fake news reported last week, archeologists in Egypt found another tomb with the remains of a 4000-year-old gal, as well as writings and paintings from her time. I understand there was a large stone disc but no one has found a player in order to hear her favourite songs, although it is suspected that Midnight at the Oases may be on it, but I degress.
So now I have to shop for a coffin, I want to make sure it fits.  I spent my whole life being too tall to fit in places, my final place is going to be extra long and

logo2.jpgcomfortable.  What about all those sad faces in suits shown in the photo.  Where can I rent people like that?

Hey instead of a coffin, what about sitting up in my hot rod? I’ll have my arm motorized to wave at everyone as I am lowered into the ground.  Be sure to wave back…
So after all this preamble my question is; does anyone have final arrangement made?  Who would you recommend doing his with?  Referrals?  I’ve never met a mortician at a network marketing event.  When they do show up, they tend to stand in the corner and size people up.
Speaking of showing up, I am only going to go through this once so what day can you make it?  Saturdays seem to be popular but I understand they offer Tuesday specials?