Thanks for pointing out some of the mistakes in my past column but I strive to become the next Mark Twain and he said, “I have little respect for any man who can’t spell a word more than one way.” I may not impress you with my spelling but Mark would love me. Speaking of impressing people…
The wife thinks that just because some men can’t multitask that none of us can. I prefer not too because it tires a guy my age but I am good at it. For example just yesterday morning, I grabbed the key ring that holds the house, car and mailbox keys, from the hook by the door and went out to get the mail. On the way noticed the wife had left the hose in the yard after she had finished watering her flower garden so I put the keys on top of the box that hides the garbage cans and stopped to roll up the hose. I had it half rolled when I heard the phone in the study ringing so I dropped it and ran into our attached office answering before the telemarketer hung up.
I listened for a few minutes in case he really had a good deal but when I realized he didn’t I hung up. As I did, I noticed the phone message slips from the previous day and thought I best return them while it was early and before they got too busy with their day. Because there were a number of them and I could be a while, I thought I should get a glass of water and went back into the house.
The boys had put the filtered water container back in the fridge without filling it and there wasn’t enough for a full glass so I took the pitcher to the sink and filled the top chamber. I let it sit so it would drain down and I thought I would just let the water slowly run and while it was filling I would finish rolling up the hose.
Before I got to the door the phone rang again, I thought it was probably another telemarketer so I decided to let it ring and listen to the message as it was left on the machine. It was the wife calling home leaving a message for me to call her right away. I can’t cut in on the call on our system so I decided I would return her call from the office incase she needed something from a file there.
As I sat down at my desk and picked up the phone I thought her first question would be did a check she had been waiting for come in the morning mail. I decided it would be best to check the mail but when I went to the hook at the door I noticed the key ring was missing. I remembered I had taken it when I first went out to get the mail this morning so I checked all my pockets, twice, the lock to the house, the mail box and the car but I couldn’t remember what I could have done with them. Suddenly I remembered I had left the water running in the kitchen and rushed back in to shut it off. I poured my glass of water and as I took a nice cool drink I noticed how messy the kitchen was. I couldn’t remember why I had come into the kitchen so I thought I’d take a few minutes and clean up the dishes.
It seemed as thought I’d been running all morning, I was tired and I still had not accomplish anything so I thought I should take a moment to rest, regroup and check my e-mails. Most of the messages were spam suggesting they had solutions for problems I didn’t even realize I had. Two of the messages were really funny so I decided to send them on to my friends and when one answered back right away, I got caught up chatting on line and before I noticed it was almost lunchtime.
I decided to go back into the kitchen and make some lunch for the wife and I as she should be arriving home soon. As I was throwing away some cans, I noticed the kitchen garbage was full and decided I would run it out to the can before continuing to make lunch. As I went to take the lid off the garbage can, I noticed the key ring and wondered how it came to be lying there but was interrupted by the Neighbor who stopped his lawn mower long enough for a short visit. I am always envious as his yard is so perfect. So perfect in fact that my teenage son came home the other day and said, “Did you see the neighbor got a ride-on lawn mower?”
I said I had.
“Now his lawn doesn’t even have his own foot prints on it.” He wisely stated as he grabbed a handful of cookies and disappeared.
I returned to the house, hung the keys back up and retuned to the kitchen. I had lunch half made when the wife came in and the first thing she said was, “Why didn’t you call me back this morning?”
Damn I thought, I forgot about that. She was pleasant enough so I just apologized and she added, “Did the check come in the mail?”
“Sorry I haven’t had time to check yet.” I said remembering now why the keys were on the garbage container.
Defensibly I said, “Dear, I have been running all morning, I am sorry but I just didn’t get time.” Boy, it seems that my multi-tasking skills just aren’t good enough.